Sunday, April 30, 2006

Holy Chitty Hand Grenades, Tim!

While watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang this evening, I noticed that the bad guy king of Bulgaria carries around a replica of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. So, it made me wonder...why did he never blow his enemies to tiny bits?

Come to think of it, the Prime Minister has a remarkable resemblance to Tim the Sorcerer. I'm thinking we could come up with some dialogue from this movie to fit with scenes in Holy Grail -- if anyone cares, that is.

One more curiosity just for the Queen of Sparrows: If the King has the Holy Hand Grenade AND he's the captain of VulgAir Zeppelins, does he also have holy water ready at the exit?

Friday, April 28, 2006

Closing Sooner Than Expected

I'm relinquishing Castle Meesh a tad sooner than I expected!

The buyer has some kind of out-of-country emergency, and must close on the house now rather than May 15. I received a panicked call from the title company Thursday morning wanting to get my payoff info and apparently they didn't have enough of my personal data to get it. I had a minor meltdown, while the title person and I discussed whether April 28 really was a proper closing date or if May 15 was. We both hung up confused. However, a few hours later my realtor confirmed the change of plans.

Soooo, today I expect to receive and sign papers via email, FedEx or fax -- whatever floats their boats. I know that I'll be faxing and FedExing 'em back. Good thing a co-worker is a notary public!

And then I'll be renting Castle Meesh through May 15, at which point I hand over the keys and cut off the utilities. And it's all theirs!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Meesh Version-06

My friend Glenda tagged me with this idea the other day. I'm not usually one to compare what I have now with what I used to have -- it's too depressing if things are bad and only briefly uplifting if the comparison is favorable. (It's just as well that I don't live by enumerated goals.)

However, after thinking it over, I had a small epiphany...

One Year Ago
I was selling medcarts and computing systems to hospitals, and had added Kansas to my already over-large territory. I was worn-out, dispirited and seeking another job.

Five Years Ago
I was in my stride at S&S, working as both a marketing and sales manager for the different product lines. It was fun, challenging and rewarding. And I just described my current job--same title, even.

Ten Years Ago
In April, I was taking my first steps toward buying my first house, which I purchased in November. I was debt-free and thoroughly enjoying-hating my job at Intermedics because it was challenging and incredibly stressful and massively fun. Today, I'm just weeks away from selling that house.

So, I've come full circle on the house, and I'm still doing the same type of job as before, except for the hiatus into direct sales. I would say that I'm in a rut, except that my current job is even more ambitious for me.

Which brings me to the epiphany. I'm enhanced: Meesh Version-06, displaying greater mobility and a more balanced approach to sales/marketing and to emotional upheaval. The only drawback to this updated version is that the Evil Twin anomaly is still embedded in the program.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Going, Going, Almost Gone...

Castle Meesh is almost ready to be re-named.

The buyer had the house inspected, and the inspector came up with lots of issues. So, the buyer asked for $6,000 to go toward repairs -- that's in addition to the $4,500 he wants toward closing costs. I suggested $3,000.

Today, he agreed to my counter-offer, but apparently the funds actually are going to his realtor (a bonus) instead. I signed more paperwork and faxed it back.

Now, my realtor will find out if they want to buy my refrigerator and washer-dryer. Actually, they can HAVE that dryer: it's crap.

Here's hoping that the next steps go just as smoothly...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Worm eatin' sonavagun

Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me.

I'm gonna eat some worms!

Big, fat, juicy ones and

Long, skinny, slimy ones...

I'm gonna eat some worms!

First you chop their heads off,

Then you squeeze their guts out--

Ooh, how they wiggle and squirm!

Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me.

I'm gonna eat some worms!

I came home singing this song. It's been one of those days.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Stampede at Gate 12, Manchester

MANCHESTER, NH – Travelers at Manchester Airport witnessed two human stampedes Thursday morning. A few minor injuries were reported, but airport officials state that no flights were missed.

The first stampede occurred at 8:12 a.m. Witnesses said that the passengers waiting for Southwest Airlines Flight 815 at Gate 15 suddenly made a break for Gate 12 en masse.

“It was the most amazing sight,” said Wanda Burns, who had been queued up at Gate 13. “I heard this loud roaring noise, like at the racetrack – where, by the way, I recently won $212. Anyway, I looked up and saw this huge crowd rushing toward me.”

Burns added that she maintained her position in line despite the danger. “I’m in the C group, so I shut my eyes and stood my ground. Otherwise, I might have been stuck in a really bad seat.”

Other witnesses agreed that the Southwest Airlines passengers rushing to Gate 12 resembled a stampede. “They all had this blind look in their eyes,” one witness said. “Like it was the most important thing in the world to get to the other gate. I ducked and covered, and nearly got bowled over by a family of four.”

In a statement released shortly after the incident, Southwest Airlines said that the change to Gate 12 was a result of mechanical problems with the plane at Gate 15. “We have an excellent on-time record and did not want to sacrifice that reputation or our one for passenger safety,” the statement concluded. “Thus, the local Southwest managers decided to move the passengers to a plane already prepared at Gate 12.”

The statement also said that the original mechanical failure was satisfactorily repaired just minutes after the initial gate change. At 8:16 a.m., Southwest staff announced that Flight 815 would be leaving from Gate 15 as originally planned.

“That’s when the second stampede happened,” said a Manchester Airport official who didn’t wish to be named. “Unfortunately, it occurred just when another flight was deplaning. And a few people were injured in the melee. It wasn’t pretty – all those people scrambling to be first in the A, B and C queues.”

The anonymous employee reported that three children and one octogenarian sustained injuries from the second stampede. No official report has been released as yet.

Of the 168 passengers on Flight 815, only one did not participate in the stampede. A woman who called herself Meesh said that she had been sitting at the back of the B queue when the first announcement occurred.

“We had been delayed so long that I had booted up my laptop,” Meesh said. “When everyone around me ran for the other gate, I knew that I couldn’t pack up in time and still get a good position in line. So I didn’t bother trying.”

Meesh added that she had just finished stowing her computer when the Southwest staff announced the return to Gate 15.

“I was still there, so I ended up being the first person in the B queue.”

She smiled. “Life is good.”

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

3 Pointless Statements

The pilot light blew out yesterday.

It's snowing today.

I'll be in Palm Springs tomorrow.